Are you old?

At a lecture by Chris Hunsicker, he clarified what "middle aged" means.  If you don't personally know someone twice your age, you're middle aged.  That may have been overly kind.  Seems to me that if no one in your circle is twice your age, you're past the middle.  So here's a short quiz to determine just how old you are.

How old are you?

Yes     No     Do you wear a wristwatch?
Yes     No     Have you ever told your kids "because I said so"?
Yes     No     Do you talk on your cellphone more than you text?
Yes     No     Have you ever made a meatloaf?

Yes     No     Can you tell the difference between clothes dried in a dryer versus those dried on a clothesline?

Yes     No    Is your TV louder than others like it but their music is too loud for you?
Yes     No    Are you more likely to believe in Santa Claus than your children?
Yes     No    Can you summon the smell of freshly mimeographed paper?

Yes     No    Do you know how to play bridge?
Yes     No    Are your favorite songs 40 years old or more?
Yes     No    If Lucille Ball was a redhead, do you know what color her hair was on your TV?
Yes     No    Do you know how to build a go-kart and a skateboard?
Yes     No    Have you ever hung wallpaper?
Yes     No    Do you remember where you were when Kennedy was shot?
Yes     No   Can you identify who said "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind"?

Count the number of YES answers you gave.

0-5:  You're a baby.  Do your chores.
6-10:  You're maturing nicely.  A little Oil of Olay and you'll be perfect.
11-15:  You're much too old to be cooking Christmas dinner, putting up lights or cleaning house by yourself.  Grab a whipper snapper and put him to work.  Your job as senior is to command respect, hand out the presents and be spoiled by the younguns.

Merry Christmas to all!